#168 - Nothing's Every Really Over

Carrie Fisher is one of my favorite writers. Her one-woman show, Wishful Drinking is still a yearly re-watch for me.

Her tweets were often wonderfully dense and this above quote has been floating around in my head for the past week.

I've been trying to be radically less judgemental of myself this year – up to and including allowing myself to take months off of doing things that contribute to long term goals without feeling the accompanying guilt.

I've been trying to gather my thoughts on the world for the past week.

It's not that I don't have thoughts – I have so many it feels overwhelming to even begin so honestly, I've been playing a lot of Stardew Valley (the update finally dropped on the switch & my farm is themed after The Sopranos this time so my farmers name is Toni and her horse is Chrissy and Carmella is the cat) and ripping through my weed cartridge at incredible speeds.

I was gifted a blu-ray/dvd player for my birthday and watching all the special features on the Lord Of The Rings (Extended Edition) that was also a birthday gift has been incredibly soothing.

Look! Art people made and really cared about!

I purchased The Social Network because it's my favorite movie ever and only gets more and less relevant each year in fascinating ways.

But also, Fincher commentaries fucking rule man he's so exacting and can explain every single decision and I love da movies!!!!

I've been marathoning the Blank Check podcast a lot and like, truly can't recommend it enough, nothing gets me going more than people who are passionate about art letting themselves be as insightful as they want to be about movies and the business and art of making films and establishing oneself as a distinct director – ugh it fucking rules and I love it!

The exit polls (hard pivot! sorry if your neck hurts from the whiplash!) are being used to demonize different communities, and that's bad because we don't have coherent understandings of motivations around voting and therfore every consultant who gave bad advice is now throwing trans rights away as if appealing to republicans wasn't a huge part of why we lost and trans kids are literally so vulnerable so anyone not emphatically protecting them in public is someone who I don't have to respect the opinions of, actually.

But millenials are staying left.

Whoooo! Millenials rule! We eeked through school when they still made us read books! I've been re-reading my sophomore year syllabus because I read 1984 this year and realized I had New Perspective to bring to engaging with the classics and holy shit, banger after banger and I wasn't getting half the shit I get out of them now back when I was 15.

Anyway, one of my major theories about why is: funding for the arts.

We were acutely aware of how important The Arts were because every year was a public fight for funding. At my public school we had several bands, choruses, art classes, pottery, digital photography, graphic design, digital video I & II, like – if you wanted to Make Stuff it was not only possible it was heavily encouraged.

Art makes us human, making things and expressing ourselves in various mediums is so important. So many people struggle to articulate their feelings out loud, or in plain written form. But what about through dance, art, movies, sketches, collage, like the options are endless and yes I do think the way you design the lip of a pot says something about you. Because taste is personal.

Expression is key to being witnessed, and I think we're having a crisis because so many people feel frustrated at being Unseen.

Dismissal and shame do not build coalitions. Resentment will cause disconnect, and nothing makes people check out faster than feeling judged.

"You can't fire me, I quit." vibes are the worst and in order to get someone into a union you first have to be willing to recognize their struggle as real. Because it is for them.

But so few of us have the patience for that because the world is burning and our lungs are on fire and we're having to spend precious moments convincing other people that the air is actually harming them, too.

There's always Discourse happening on twitter that isn't necessarily happening in real life, but it's always revealing. I just keep coming back to appropriateness within communication and I'll be honest I think a lot of activists and organizers needs to keep some of their thoughts offline.

Not to say they can't be frustrated with people just joining the movement! But is it helpful to publicly disparage them?

Stop yelling at people who show up to protests for not being there sooner! Just encourage them to bring friends next time!!

Talk shit in group chats, but if we're going to build coalitions we need to be strategic. And that includes emotionally! Don't want to do that type of work? Don't! Find the work style that works for you. Don't want feedback on your thoughts? Write a book, babe! I mean that so sincerely! Mismatch of medium and message is annoying for everyone!

Part of what I'm mourning is the illusion of normalcy that has been vaguely around for the last few years.

The rise of fascism was never really over, it was just... over there.

The life advice applies to good situations too though, just as much as the bad.

I don't think there's a time limit or expiration on important conversations. In fact sometimes I think not talking for a while is the best thing that can happen to a relationship because it allows everyone to have journeys that provide more context for their life and what they want out of it.

It's okay to start volunteering now. There's no penalty for not having hours of community meetings under your belt!

Like at this point, reading a book is a form of resistence because literacy is declining and I thought we just meant like theory books but no when we say the kids aren't reading (the kids going to Ivy League schools!) we apparently mean everything, YA included.

AAAAHHHHH!

This week has been weird, this essay is weird too, and I'm not feeling all that coherent at the moment.

I was hoping writing would make me feel better, or less scrambled, or something resembling put together.

But honestly it's so hard to think let alone think in expressable ways right now.

I'm sad and scared. But also so SO angry. And I'm trying not to ignore things but I also can't stand everyone having Takes for the sake of having one!

So, for now, there's nothing to do but get ready.

Life isn't easy, and it was never promised to be.

Time to fight for a better future. Progressivism is not a losing concept. We need radical thought and big structural change. We need good policies and regulation and leaders who aren't beholden to the donor class.

Let's go!